After years (since Dec 2005 to be precise) of active medical help against infertility, this June we finally had a successful IVF and conceived!! Since then, its been a roller coaster 21 weeks to realise:
- It is one thing to conceive and totally another to have a successful pregnancy
- I am more superstitious than I ever thought I would be
- Pregnancy is like christmas for many people - lots of fun, light, happy surprises and hope. I fall in the Halloween category - falling into one scare after another, more trick than treat
- My hubby is an angel, the rest of my long suffering family have angelic traits as well.
- My body knows how to keep my gynae well occupied
For a long time, I've been wondering whether to blog about my infertility. Its a sensitive topic. Very private, quite embarrassing and frequently technical about usually unmentionable parts. Not to mention feelings of denial, frustration, 'why me', depression - all not very conducive to writing eloquent or just non-bitter post. And then of course is superstition - the more you talk/think about it, the more you will jinx it. And finally, the frequent failures. Month on month hope charts rising and falling.
Well, finally, I decided to take the plunge. After all, this is my life, has been for the last few years. Others may lead infinitely more interesting lives, but this is my story, years of my life - simple, mundane, but no less real.
There's quite a lot of back history to go through. These first few posts, I've decided to write about TTC (Trying To Conceive). This itself is half the battle. Then, I plan to move on to my pregnancy. This also panders to my superstition of trying not to jinx what I have right now by talking about it!!!! Well, thats the plan anyway, lets see how it pans out!
Here is how it started. Four years ago I was a successful management executive, running the rat race with gusto, juggling work and fun, making decent money, doing good work, climbing the potential ladder, going out with friends, taking honeymoonish vacations....and generally on a fast track to a good life. Well settled personally and professionally, hubby and I decided to think about a family. It was the next logical step. We had been married a few years, were both in the second half of twenties, were just going to stop contraception and take it as it came, totally aware it may be immediate or may take some time. We had time. Life was fine. We both even managed transfers to the same city my parents lived in, so we would have a support system. Throughout, I had this vision of me getting pregnant, working throughout till the very end, having a baby, taking a couple of months of and then getting back to work, juggling work and family. Not such a far fetched idea - my mom did it with both my sister and me, uncountable colleagues were doing the same thing. It was the standard thing to do!
Then, after a few months of general trying, during a mild orthopedic check up, I decided to walk across to the gynae and get a general health check. That visit changed my life.
