A night of doubts and omens

The night before the delivery, I still was in two minds to wait till at least Thursday (38 weeks complete). We were packing, getting organized. My sis was staying with us, managing home for me. My in-laws were coming on 21st (as per original date). All seemed organized. I wasn't so much convinced as resigned. My doc had done an external check and said the head seemed to be in down position, she didn't feel a transverse position, though hadn't dropped so position changes wee possible. I was toying with the idea of waiting. Letting the position correct, baby drop, maybe go for natural delivery. I was mentally prepared for 21st..not tomorrow! I wasn't ready. What if I didn't lactate. What if baby hadn't crossed 2.5kgs? What if loops were back? So many questions...so much indecision.

And then all of a sudden, I leaked milk. It was totally unexpected and shocking. Whoa....! It seemed like a sign. I took it as a sign. I still couldn't believe that I had managed it so far, and my survivor baby had held on despite all the things that had kept going wrong. It seemed destined in a way. I stopped thinking and just let it be.