Self Pity and moving on

Yesterday I spoke to my gastro doctor and we've tentatively planned the gall-bladder-out surgery for 26th Dec. Since thats more than a week away, it made more sense to do the blood and other tests next week. Which works fine with me...I'm not to keen on needles anyway...and both arms are still suffering post IV thickened and painful veins! Logistically, this also works out coz hubby has to go out of station for 2 days, mom is taking exams at office, sis is at work and dad has a conference...so no one has to change any schedules to be with me this week.

Then this morning, after my hubby left for the airport, my maid suddenly wanted to take the night off. It seems her sister is admitted in hospital, 8 months pregnant and her (sister's) hubby is out of town. At first, I wasn't to keen, but having been through pregnancy hell the last few weeks, I could understand her need to go to her sis (who is all alone). Then, while talking with my maid about her sis, I found that her sis has already lost 3 full term babies...all within a few days of birth! Oh my god!

I've been wallowing in my sorrow and having thoughts of whether I ever want to go through the entire TTC and pregnancy again...and then here is someone who has been through so much more, and is still waiting for her first child. For the past few days, with all the medical stuff happening; self-pity, why-me and poor-me have been my dominant feelings. But after hearing her story, I felt stronger. Its not just me. Bad things happen. You grieve and move on. Good things might happen next, or more bad things. But you take what you get and try to make the best of it. That's life. And I think its time to start living again.