Fast Forward to today - Part I

So far I had been writing about my past fight. One reason was to document the process. The second (and probably more compelling one) was that I was finally pregnant and too superstitious to even write about it. Well, it didn't help. I lost my twins anyway and ended up with more complications. So I figured, I may as well get upto speed to where I am in life right now and start writing about the present instead of the past.

After years of trying, we decided to go in for IVF in March 2009. So we took a nice beach vacation early March and then settled into the IVF routine. IVF was more injection intensive than anything I had faced before. But I did form eggs, got them out in a surgical process and got 3 embryos implanted back in a IUI type process. Lots of care and progestrone for the next few days till my next period date. Sadly, no pregnancy. The implantation failed.

Next round, this time with frozen embryos. However, since ovulation was halted, I didn't take too well to a particular injection, and my lining wouldn't develop properly. So the implantation plan had to be postponed to the next cycle.

Third cycle, everything seemed to go well. Out of 5, 4 embryos thawed and 3 grade A were implanted. Another suspense period of progesterone and no activity. On the day I was to expect my period, I woke at 4am. I couldn't wait any longer and tested myself. And omigod it was positive!!! I woke my hubby and told him. It was incredible, magical, unbelievable!!!! We went to the hospital later in the day and gave in the blood tests. It was all positive! However, with my earlier chemical pregnancy experience, I remained in the hopeful but not done-deal state.

A few weeks later, we went for our first ever ultrasound, which would test for heartbeat and confirm the pregnancy. We were so keyed up, our car ran out of petrol half way!!! Not to mention, we also had a small accident earlier in the trip with a car ramming into us at the toll plaza. I had to call my dad/sis to rescue us. Since we were short on time, dad and hubby took the car to the mechanic and my sis took me for the ultrasound. They confirmed I was carrying twins!! I cannot express the feeling. Joy, relief, hope and lots of crossed fingers that let it all go well from here on. We went back home and told my hubby and parents. We had always known multiples were a possibility with IVF. It was a double bonus, but just that we were pregnant was enough in itself!

Then followed 3 months of anxiety. Most miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks. We told only a family about the pregnancy, I stayed mostly on bed rest, daily progesterone injections (really painful) and the occasional ultrasound. Once I suddenly had unexplained bleeding and rushed to hospital for ultrasound. But it turned out okay, I took a course of antibiotics and everything seemed heading okay. The ultrasounds continued, we watched out twins develop. At first I couldn't see anything except 2 black sacs. Then we saw their bones, the spine being most prominent, slowly the arm and legs, head, nasal bone ... it was magic and it was happening inside me. Meanwhile, I got really bad morning sickness (or all day rather), lots of throwing up, gas, bloating etc. But I was really hoping everything would be okay after the first 3 months. That's what everyone said anyway.

We got through the first 12 weeks. I heaved a sigh of relief. We were shifting from our IVF specialist to our normal Ob/Gyn at this stage. I felt happier and more hopeful that this was really going to work out now.